When my Existence is a Sin (Perfect by Simple Plan)

There are lots of things in the world which are beautiful, shining and glowing. But some are dull, dark and gloomy like me. My life are not that wonderful when my own existence is a sin. I’m just a normal lady, I do not possess any specialities or gifted like any other ladies. Day after days, year after years, I am becoming more mature in life. I tried everything that I can to turn my self from a hideous caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. I learned the way of life, I learned more about my creator, I learned to be better from yesterday and I learned from my past mistakes.

I thought I’ve succeeded. In fact, I am NOT. When my life just about to begin, it began to crumpled again. I am lost. Even my love one thinks that I better not be around rather than make their life much harder. I never thought that I am such a loser. I am not needed. I am a trash. MY OWN EXISTENCE IS JUST A SIN!

Everything that I did is wrong. NONE are right. I will be blame for every single things even it is just as small as a particle. My existence are not needed. My hard work to change into a butterfly just revert back to its origin. I am a hideous lady. All that owned me are ashamed of me. My existence really are a sin.

If I ever knew that my life will become like this, I rather choose to not be alive in the past accident. I knew I am not ready to go meet God at that time because there are lots of sins to be repent, but if I really know that my own existence is just a sin, why should I continue making lots and lots of sins? People who owned me might be glad when I am gone. Their life might have been much easier without me around.

When  I try to be better, to help, to make their life easier, no gratitude is received. What I get is a sound of resentful. They become more annoyed at me. My existence itself is a sin. So what should I do? I am not an angel who are perfect, who are free from mistakes. I am just a normal person who are trying hard to become a better person. I am not perfect and never ever can be perfect.

I am really sorry because my existence is not like what you want me to be.. I love you so much….

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I’m wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’s alright

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect

Nothing’s gonna change the things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect
Now it’s just too late and
We can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be perfect